Forever Broken
by LeiaGray
Summary: Real life AU. MarcoxAce


I really shouldn´t have watched the marineford arc...It somehow is interesting that I can still cry non-stop when watching that...anyway...here is a sad one. I actually wrote this in german years ago, when I first saw the episodes, and I translated it now and looked it over. I am a bit depressed these days.

Please let me know what you think! It´s Marco´s POV btw.

Beta´d by Nica13-Thank you!

* * *

At sundown the sky is getting amazingly red. Well, not just red, also purple, orange yellow and pink. Cynics like me will say that this beautiful colour-spectrum is caused by the air contamination, because the air particles throw back the colour.

Dreamer, wonderful dreamer like you had been, would say it´s an ocean full of fantasies. In my case, those fantasies are about you, about us. How it was.

How it never will be again.

* * *

"I´m going to the store!"

"Get in here before, yoi!"

Curious about, what I wanted, you went through the door and crossed the small distance between you and the couch, where I sat on, looking down on me, smiling.

"I want you, yoi." I whispered.

We gave in to our desire. It was the last time.

* * *

If I could only see you again one last time, watching, how the light lets your hair gleam, how it breaks in your eyes, lets them shine. How it touches your skin and caresses your face. How your gaze is changing, when you look at me, your hair gliding through my fingers like silk. Watching the play of colours, silver, black, sometimes brown, a sight I´ve never wanted to miss.

Until I was forced to.

* * *

I don´t know why I decided to go after you. I felt something. Something, that made me run, something that was eligible.

I forced myself through a crowd of people, towards the body, that was lying on the floor. The body I caressed, loved and touched. The body whose spirit I loved the most. Your body.

* * *

I am all alone. Why did you make me promise, that, whatever happens, I am not allowed to bring myself to you? To commit suicide? Why do you force me to live this goddamn life, that I wanted to break free of for such a long time? My life is cursed, bitterness my companion.

Maybe it´s just my destiny, being alone. Maybe I am not worth it, to feel happiness and love, maybe I am cursed to live my life without you. All alone. Without you forever.

* * *

"Ace." My heart shattered. Into a million pieces, as I ran towards you, towards your numb body, that I took in my arms. Your beautiful face was covered in scratches, shocked I watched the blood running from your lips. Your blood.

"Ace." I whispered again, caressing your cheek, those amazingly cute freckles on it, pointless hoping I could save you with it. Your gaze flickered. You didn´t react.

"Ace...please!"

"Marco?" It was not more than a whisper. Your hand found my face, soon covered by mine.

"What happened?" I got out. As if it mattered.

"...A car...it was too fast, it was too fast...It hurts, Marco, it hurts so much..." Your voice was way too high pitched. I felt panic and cold, naked fear running through my spine.

"Ace...Ace, listen, someone just called 911, you are going to make it, don´t you? Please, stay with me, please, I don´t want...I can´t loose you...you promised me something, you remember?"

You smiled. In that moment I felt it. Felt that there was no point anymore, that I couldn´t hold tight on that wish, felt the cold, cruel reality like someone hit me in the face. Tears of desperation, frustration, loneliness and anger broke out, falling on your face, mixing with your blood.

"I know...what I promised...I am sorry...I..."

"Ace..."

* * *

I despise the world, all people that are living in it, and myself the most. Probably the world hates me too, but it really doesn´t matter to me, because I am secretly hoping that someone will end my life. Hopefully soon, because it has been years I am wandering around, waiting for release, years without you, the only person I ever truly loved.

The loneliness is holding me tight, like an ice cold embrace around my heart, forcing itself through my soul, if I actually have one.

I don´t want anymore. I don´t want to breathe, to see, to live anymore. I am just wishing for my heart to stop, come sweet death, damned death, dance with me, take me with you, release me. Let me see him again. Release the world from my burden, so it can laugh again.

* * *

"Kiss me..." you whispered. I nodded stiff, bringing our lips together, it was never so sensual, so...sacred.

Forever

two glances

a blink

lost in the crowd

two words

a moment

leaked through the tangles

two breaths

a chance

gone from the world

two lips

a kiss

frozen for eternity

I could taste your blood as we parted, your eyes empty, I felt it, looking down on you, seeing you smile one last time. Your eyes flickering and I knew. I knew you would never smile again. Never.

"I love you." I heard your wonderful voice breaking through my thoughts.

"I love you too." I whispered, seeing your smile, your eyes, that where slowly closing, after you looked at me like looking through a haze.

"Look at me..." I whispered desperately.

"Ace! Look at me! Please! I...I..."

I wanted to say so much more.

* * *

The locked truth in my heart is breaking out, like a flaming inferno, with the only cause to cut through me, making me numb, so I can´t feel the pain of your loss, even if it´s my constant companion that destroys and cripples my feelings.

The days after your death, I was a mess, walking around without destination. Numb, cold, controlled and without any feeling at all. I couldn´t even cry, because there was no one who could wipe away my tears. After two years the ice that was my soul crashed, and cold, deserted tears, only the night got to see, broke through.

I will see you again, when the time comes. The only reason, to go on and live, was that I got to see you again, when I die. Ace. Thank you. I love you. Please wait for me. Please wait.


End file.
